In transition

Sometimes things just work out. Tim’s been debating selling his motorcycle for a while, now. I’ve been wanting a small catamaran for a long time now. This is a desire that peaks every summer and then settles into a slow burn for the cooler months. We’ve been watching the paper and we found one that wouldn’t break the bank, but I was still very hesitant about actually spending the money.

There was an offer on the bike and a deal was made, for five dollars more than the cost of my new (to me!) boat.

Of course, now I have temptation in my garage and I won’t get to try it out for a couple of weeks. Oh well, the anticipation will be fun.

I’m passing this link along for all my Nashville friends.

One brought tears to my eyes and wouldn’t you know it that’s when the Fed Ex guy showed up.

Thank you for sharing it, Mike.

My South Speaks:: Turner South

It happened again. I was out with my children, minding my own business, and someone “young ladied” me. Now, he only wanted to know the time, but still. Personally, I think I should have graduated to at least “Miss” by now. My mother thinks I’m off my rocker when I try to explain the connotations of “young lady, miss, and ma’am.”

Young lady is what most girls were told to be when they were small. For example, “We’re going out to eat and I want you to act like a young lady.” However, it always remained negative in my mind. Authority figures would use the term when you were in some manner of trouble, “Young lady! Come here.” Finally, “young lady” is how smug restaurant patrons refer to their servers. “Young lady, I wanted hot coffee. Go rinse a mug in hot water, then fill it with boiling coffee, my teeth aren’t melting. You call this hot?”

“Miss” has pleasant undertones. It’s for small children who are familiar with you, but not family. I love being “Miss Heather” to my friend’s children. “Miss” is also for polite strangers and the type of people I enjoyed waiting on, in my restaurant days. “Miss, do you have the time?”

Ma’am is a term of respect. I use it often, regardless of age. I want my boys to use it. It doesn’t bother me if someone uses it to address me. It used to fluster me when I’d be working and suddenly someone would snap, “I’m not a ma’am. Ma’am is my mother.” I don’t know exactly what would happen, but something would short circuit in my brain and I’d be unable to use any other form of address. I finally came to terms with it, one day. What would they do? Call the home office and say I was rude? I can just imagine that conversation?
“Can you explain the incident please?”
“She called me ma’am?”
“Anything else?”
“No, just ma’am.”
“I see, well, we must put a stop to that. We can’t have our employees referring to female customers as ma’am.”

That incredibly long tangent was to explain why I hate being “young ladied.” As I have a couple of children, I would like to pass for their mother and not their sitter. I should probably update my wardrobe. Is there anyone willing to give me a hand? I am utterly clueless. I visit the store, look through the racks and eventually yield to the t-shirts, jeans, and converse. I want to look grown up, but not yuppified, adult but not soccermom. I hate soccer.

Unfortunately, I think I probably fall under that heading. I felt weird about stepping into one of my neighbor’s yards to take some pictures, yesterday. So, I gave her a nice copy of the picture I took and proceeded to babble like a co-ed on amphetamines. A better view can be found here.

I went to Bushy Park to take some photos. I remembered the camera, lenses, tripod(s). I saw the shot, set everything up, and turned the camera on.

Beep

No memory card.

Dammit.

What was your last moment of “brilliance?”

***Update ~7:45am on Sunday***

Another day another moment, somehow they are worse when I haven’t had my coffee.
I started the pot of coffee, but neglected to put the carafe on the hot plate.

I am on a roll.

A couple of these are quite old. Gromit is the darker, daintier one, although they are both supposed to be full basset hounds.

The board also reduced the tax rate, so that property with an assessed value of $100,000 would experience a $20 reduction. Board members said they hope the measure can provide some relief to taxpayers.

After some number crunching, without even breaking out the handy dandy calculator, I found that I’ll have an extra buck a week in the budget. That is until they reassess.

Maybe once a month I’ll take the boys to Once Upon a Child and they can choose a shirt to share. This is just fantastic!

Hooray.

Actually, I’m quite happy they didn’t raise the rates.

This area is growing. The new projects will be funded with alternative financing. While not my first choice, it does make sense. In the next few years, when new developments are completed, there will be pressure on our schools. Unfortunately, I think my kids will still be assigned to Whitesville Elementary and I am not pleased with the prospect.

I guess if I was as concerned as I sometimes think I ought to be, I’d make a better note of when the meetings occur.

If you see me this evening, I’ll probably be wearing a goofy grin. You see, the sun is shining and I have an errand in West Ashley. The husband has to be home early to watch the boys and this means I get to drive my jeep. No car seats and no strollers, no diaper bag and no whining.

I’ll take the top down and tie my hair up. I’ll crank the radio and find my sunglasses. It’s only for an hour or two, but I can’t wait.

I just might round out the evening with an icy Dr. Pepper, a book, and a stolen hour.

We ventured all the way to Marion Square, yesterday. For most of the locals, it’s a quick jaunt, but for us ‘hicks in the sticks,’ it’s quite the haul. We packed a lunch and arrived just as the band was making its appearance. The two year old was interested, but not in dancing. He prefers to stand stone faced glaring at the musicians. Later when asked he commented, “I liked that music.”

Meanwhile, this little girl seemed entranced.

Aunt B, has opened a can of worms. Since I became involved in this whole parenting thing I’ve seen arguments about: circumcision, breast vs bottle, cloth vs disposable, whether or not to let your child cry it out etc. Of all the arguments, I think The Great Spanking* Debate has probably sparked the most controversy.

A friend of mine sent me this article The Parent Trap. This sums up the current problem, for me:

Add to this the increasing amount of parental responsibility for things their children do wrong, coupled with steady legal diminution of parental authority (Flanagan mentions an incident in which Caroline Kennedy was spanked for running off and notes that today it might result in jail time — an exaggeration, perhaps, but not by much.) You’re responsible for your kids in ways previous generations weren’t, but your ability to discipline them is much reduced, and as my wife (a forensic psychologist) notes, the bad kids know that they can cow most adults by threatening to call 911 and make a bogus abuse charge. And forget disciplining your child, even with a harsh word, in a public place: At the very least, if you do you’ll be looked on not as a virtuous parent helping to preserve the social fabric, but as that worst of all sinners in contemporary American culture: a meanie. And schools, anxious for parental “involvement,” place far more demands on parents than they did when I was a kid.

I absolutely think The Pearls go beyond what most of society would deem healthy. I am in no way defending their parental guidelines.

What I do believe is exclusively following any one parenting technique may be a lesson in failure. Each child is unique and will have unique phases in their maturation process. What worked last week may not be in any way effective, today. My older son has taught me a lot about myself. I have learned that I can be more stubborn than I previously thought. I also have learned that I will spank a child. I do my best to provide the safest environment possible, I do my best to maintain my composure as long as possible, but there are times when I am fallible and I am human. A quick example: I tried redirection a hundred times before he was spanked for climbing the outside of the stair railing. That quickly and effectively improved the learning curve.

My favorite professor has said, “Pain is Mother Nature’s way of saying, ‘You screwed up.'” Now, whether it was because you were an idiot and stuck your hand on the stove or because your mother caught you hanging from the bookshelf playing Tarzan is probably irrelevant in most cases.

Do I think that spanking is the only effective disciplinary tactic? Absolutely not. Am I so confident in my own parental abilities to think I haven’t and won’t make mistakes? No, but believe that good and effective parenting takes elements from many sources and weaves them together, teaching based on respect: for one’s self, for others, and for property. I also believe that unless harm is being done, more people need to mind their own business .

I hope my children turn out fine, so I don’t have to eat my words.

*When I use the word spank I am only referring to an open-handed smack on the bottom of a child. This discussion does not include any other form of corporal punishment.