In transition

At this very moment, these are the things I’m thankful for.

• Health.
• Friends who get excited about the same things as me – Jared, Eugene, and Jason
• Authors who can take me so far from here and now. Charles de Lint, Robin McKinley, and Terry Pratchett
• Tulip trees in bloom.
• A little boy, who experiences a brief, first taste of freedom outside alone and brings in a handful of “pretty flowers” for me.
• The companionship of this coming summer.

Hopefully this will be the last of my navel gazing posts; although at this point it is an interesting blend of deep blues fading to green and sickly yellow.

Last night I was lying in bed attempting to fall asleep. Notice I said attempting to fall asleep, as in I did not crash into bed exhausted. I have not had an evening where I was wide awake an energized in a very long time.  I suspect it may have even been before becoming pregnant with Mark. That is a long, long time to be tired.   I haven’t always had bone deep exhaustion, there have been brief periods of respite, but they have been short in duration over the past two years.

As I thought about the book I had been reading I was struck with the realization that my thoughts were clearer and sharper than they have been in a long time.  Have you ever cleaned a long neglected windshield and been amazed with the renewed clarity?  This was internal, but no less striking.  I am amazed and very, very thankful.

I understand the purpose of the questions, but seriously folks, these border on the ridiculous and when you ask me a series of crazy questions, eventually my self control will wear out and you will receive some ridiculous answers.

Have you fallen in the last month?

– Do you mean a significant fall, because I’m always tripping over my own feet?

Have you broken your pelvis in the last month?

– Oh gee, now that you mention it. . .

Is someone trying to control you.

– My son, but he’s two, he tries to control everyone.

Has someone threatened you?

– My son said he was going to throw fireballs at me after I sent him to his room.

They probably weren’t as amused as my mom and I were.

Things went great.  The only part that truly hurt was hearing the bill.  However, feeling better will be worth it.  I’m too tired for a healthcare rant.

I loved my nurse today.  Even if she insisted I was too young to have kids.

The last six weeks were aggravating, being told that things looked alright by the test results, but still having symptoms.  The surgeon told my mom that it very scarred, so all the pain and symptoms were definitely not all in my head (as I began to worry after hearing the drumroll before the total).

Found a sitter? Yes, two

Have a ride? Yes

Food for the family? Taken care of

I guess I’m ready.  Do not get worried if I don’t check in on Wednesday or Thursday.  There, look at my ego grow, assuming those of you who wander by are that invested in my well being.  There is an Invader Zim cartoon where Zim says “More organs means more human.”  I suppose by Wednesday afternoon, I’ll be a little less human.

Wait, I just thought of something.  I am completely out of books; this will not do.  No, not at all.  Am I the only one who is embarrassed to go back to the library after amassing a fee?  As if somehow I am unworthy to return to the library for misplacing a book for a week.  It’s probably a symptom of my own twisted neurosis, but I build all of these little incidents into these overwhelming tasks and put them off.  Eventually when I get around to finding the courage, time, and energy I wonder how I could have built it into such an overwhelming task.

I hope my fear of interviewing is like this.  I sent out a press release to the local morning shows.  Maybe something will come of it, maybe nothing will.  It’d be nice if we could promote Home Ec in that manner.

I’m not even referring to my new haircut.

Thank you Dan, Ivy and I really appreciate the piece.  You did a great job of making it look as though we know what we are talking about.

In case anyone is unaware of the flurry of recent activity, I’m attempting to get back into the routine of writing here first. It’s an exercise that needs to be done and like returning to the gym after a break things are a little stiff and forced. Time and focus will loosen up the brevity that has been my rule at Lowcountry Blogs.

To encourage myself, there may be a few memes. As cornball as it may sound, I do enjoy Thankful Thursday as it forces me to look beyond the petty irritations.  As an American I am incredibly soft and spoiled.

With absolutely no respect for magnitude, ten things I am thankful for this very moment:

• Coffee lightened with milk and sprinkled with cinnamon.
• My two year old who tells people he is “One and one.” He has been listening in on the four year old’s math lesson.
• The basset hound warming my feet.
• Baby hugs, squeals, coos, and grins.
• Ivy, Margo, Lori and all the others who listen to me so I don’t drive my husband crazy.
• My husband.
• Early mornings when the entire family is asleep.
• Movies we can watch together that we haven’t seen 52 times.
• Piglet, my four year old’s imaginary pet who lives a varied and amazing life.
• Patience. Even if I don’t feel it, I’ve been given at least a handful along the way.

For non-family members this is a 90second example of my four year old’s violin playing. I am proud of his progress, but before you click, be aware that this is a four year old on a very cheap instrument. You have been warned. As far as family goes, you are fully expected to click, endure, and be proud.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kk1R9Q8jldg&rel=1]

Twitter has recently become the topic of many conversations.  I’ve been using it for a few months; at first I enjoyed the novelty of the concept.   Now I enjoy it because once your flock is large enough, there is always someone out there whose brain I can pick.  Maybe it is akin to training wheels and I’ll outgrow the usefulness, but for now I enjoy having company whether I’m working at five in the morning or eleven at night.

Arriving exactly on time for my 2:45 appointment, I was presented with two sets of nearly identical doors.  One had hours posted on the glass and the other was plain.  I entered through the door with office hours, assuming the other was the staff entrance.

I entered a fairly standard medical foyer, with the receptionist slightly apart from the waiting area.  I approached the no nonsense lady behind the counter only to be told, without eye contact, “Have a seat.”

She was on the phone, with an insurance company so I sat down and flipped through a magazine while thoroughly enjoying her phone call.  I began to think that if I ever had problems with my insurance carrier I would love having her around to handle the details.  She didn’t take no for an answer, was firm, and persistent.  While she handled that she was also working on payment arrangements with a man I could not see from my position.  In between demands to speak with a supervisor I heard the man make a good natured, if half-hearted joke about the aggravation involved with something or other.

In a bossy, yet somewhat genteel Southern manner she snapped “It’s good for you” and the burly man left as though he had been chastised by his granny, fumbling with his paperwork, cell phone, and sunglasses.

Several minutes later I was summoned, “Miss Lewis.”

“I’m not Miss Lewis.”

“You’re in the wrong building.”

Having been on time, I was now more than ten minutes late; blushing furiously I entered the unmarked door.  The lady behind this counter greeted me and I  sheepishly mentioned that I had been on time.  Without glancing up she replied, “She told you to have a seat didn’t she?”

“Yes.”

“You’re not the first.  How long were you waiting? We’ve had patients sit there for forty-five minutes before discovering they were in the wrong office.”

At least I wasn’t the first.

For what it’s worth that temperamental gall bladder is coming out.  I just have to set a date.

I enjoy my job reading and highlighting posts for the P & C.  There are times though where I just get burned out on topics: politics, religion bashing (including the reverse), abortion, and secular vs progressive all come to mind.  I’m working through it, developing the ability to scan without internalizing a lot of it

Perhaps what tires me the most are hyperbolic arguments, slippery slopes, even the word ‘strawman.’  I can’t help but notice, and I’m not only referring to the local blogosphere, that the ability to debate is becoming a lost art.  Looking back on my own highschool experience I can only recall one instance per year where persuasive writing was covered.  With the amount of data available to the average person perhaps more focus is needed on critical reading and analysis. Honestly though, would it help? My college courses spent far too much time focusing on remedial grammar.