In my Kitchen Window

Dear clutter* of spiders who may or may not be brown widows,

This is your eviction notice.  I didn’t mind so much when you first moved in behind the screen. It was a mini Animal Planet Show unfolding as I washed dishes.  Would you eat today?  Would the gnat escape?  It’s summer, surely I could spare a little real estate, it’s too hot to open the window.  Who doesn’t appreciate a few less bugs in the world. But then you took advantage of my laziness generosity and invited your friends.

Your friends have no respect for my property, there are bug carcasses piling up, spent web blocking my view, and the wiggling, oh the wiggling.  You have until noon; after lunch the vacuum and Windex move in.


I had to Google the collective noun for spiders and there is no safe filter for this.  All the answers are multitudes of eight legged and crawly things, waiting to pounce with sharp pointy fangs.


#1 candice on 08.08.08 at 9:44 am

I had brown widows in my kitchen window once! I left them…haha!

#2 Cheryl Smithem on 08.08.08 at 3:59 pm

Good work. Works like a prose poem. Love the heart to heart. I ran into a huge web in the garden when getting the mail and now feel veiled with it but just can’t quite find the edges of the darn thing.

#3 Bramble on 08.09.08 at 9:16 pm

I have a lovely grey barn spider outside my window. We’ve affectionately named her Charlotte. She’s welcome to stay as long as she stays outside. Nice thing about barn spiders is they clean up after themselves! Every night they discard their old webs (and carcasses) and build anew. I’m not sure where they go but they’re not in my window so it’s all good.

#4 Becky on 08.10.08 at 9:11 pm

ROTFL!!!!!!!! 🙂 I especially liked the last part of the post.

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