It’s All About Me

If I can’t talk about myself, what is the point of having a personal blog?

Those of you closest to me know how shy I can be.  Most everyone else probably assumed I was a work-a-holic or hermit. I used to purposely take any shift that would eliminate the possibility of my having to deal with people in a social setting.  People have asked, but you were a waitress, didn’t you have to be outgoing?  As far as I was concerned, my customers weren’t individuals.  They were just a part of my job.  The more polite and friendly I appeared to be, the better I would be paid.  They didn’t see me as a person, either.  I was just someone who brought food and made sure everything was fine every so often. Everyone is the star of their own movie, there are only so many memorable parts in each film; I was perfectly content with waitress #92309854 in most of those films.

The past few years have been a period of great change.  Was it motherhood?  Honestly, I don’t think so.  If anything, that drove me further inside myself for a time.  Perhaps part of the change was moving back to my home, where I felt safer.  Whatever the cause I began to peek out of my shell and began to meet some people who are leaving a profound mark on my life.  Vicky and Shelley are the first women in my church I recognized as individuals rather than “church people.”  They serve as role models in my walk as a wife and mother, as well as in my faith.

In the world of blogging Dan and Janet have not only given me a well deserved kick in the butt on occasion, but opportunities and guidance as I work to change from a hobbyist to professional writer.  I cannot thank them enough.

Yesterday, several zombies milled around aimlessly, a camera was in my face, and I was not shaking with fear.  I was far from perfect, but I was there. Willingly. In college, I left my public speaking class in tears, leaving all of my belongings behind , to throw up when the professor brought in a video camera.  I called a friend who retrieved my coat and books (it was freezing) so I could go home.

Saturday I’ll be speaking at the CREATE South Conference.  These steps are miles from the girl who picked up shifts to avoid social obligation.


#1 Margo on 04.14.08 at 10:05 am

I’m so proud of you!

#2 Paul Schaubhut on 04.14.08 at 10:38 am

I don’t think I ever met that little girl that didn’t have much to say or an opinion about something. I know her mother, and I could see where that little girl would have got it from. As times change, so do people. We all grow, at our own pace. Your mom, has become more than just a “zombie” or “introvert”, to someone that can interact and be an integral part of my life, your life, and your kids lives. Someone with an opinion. Someone who is important. You are that someone too, Heather. Self importance dictates how we are seen by others. Confidence is an outgrowth of self importance. I know you will leave them in awe with your verbal skills and positive attitude. We are very proud of you as a Mom, Wife, Daughter, and Step-daughter. (And if all else fails, imagine them in their underwear). You will do great!

#3 Joan on 04.14.08 at 9:52 pm

Perhaps now you really have something to say and share. That makes it easier.
I was raised to be seen and not heard and I have delighted in my kids healthy self confidence.

#4 JanetLee on 04.15.08 at 9:14 am

It’s called growing older, Heather. You are approaching your 30’s, which are going to be full of even more positive growth and discoveries. By your 40’s you will be one of the most spectacular women I’ve known.

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