Coming Home Again

I had an amazing time in Asheville. It wasn’t the not cooking or cleaning, having my work already done. Those things were nice, but that wasn’t what made my time there as great as it was.

I learned something this trip.

It’s not really the kids that get me down.

It’s those stretches of time where I don’t talk to intelligent people for days on end. Tim comes home from work and falls into bed. By that time, I’m also too tired to articulate anything coherent, but at least he has co-workers. This isn’t a post about my marriage, don’t try to read between the lines, there’s nothing there to see. We have our ups and downs, we’re human, fallible, but generally forgiving.

I miss people outside of this house.

I’m tired of fact families and phonics, where saying, “wipe your nose”, and “flush the toilet” are the bulk of my human interaction.

My sanity is held in check by a few Skype contacts and the promise that it’ll get better. I know I’m not the only one and I know my situation isn’t at all dire. It’s just frustrating. I hate that I hang on hoping for an hour or two where I might get to see adults where the conversation moves past the social niceties.

So many of my local friends have left, if not physically in practicality: Jared, Janet, Dan, Don. It’s like one by one the people are packing up and moving on. The ones that haven’t left yet, seem to be making plans, Nathan, Chris, Greg, Matthew -see above about fallible- is it true?

If I’m down, it’s because coming home means heading back into the isolation I accidentally created for myself. I’m trying to break free of it, I’m just not sure where to start.

For now I escape into podcasts. I think it’s because I can at least fool myself for a little while that my world isn’t really as quiet as it has become.

Over the weekend I got to spend time with women I consider my mentors: Aliza Sherman, Wendy Scherer, Kelby Carr, Deb Ng, Alli Worthington, Megan Jordan, just to name a few.

Each one is a bit farther down the road than I am.

I’m trying to be brave.

A few years ago, I wouldn’t have even tried.

Photo Credit: Alli Worthington

I thank you for the example.

I’ll get there and maybe, just maybe I’ll learn that choosing to be remarkable is a good thing.



#1 imabug on 09.30.10 at 10:16 am

if it makes you feel better, i’ll still be around at least a few more years 🙂

#2 Alli Worthington on 09.30.10 at 10:20 am

you rocked it!

#3 Michael Carnell on 09.30.10 at 10:23 am

First of all, I love the photo of you with the microphone above. Fantastic!

Second, you can always come to lunch with your Twitter friends. We would love to have you.

Third, I am not leaving town either – although that may just depress you… 😉

#4 Heather on 09.30.10 at 10:26 am

Eugene & Michael, it’s not so much that no one is left, but rather a combination of the shrinking circle and commitments that don’t let me make the remaining events,no matter how much I want to.
Twitter is nice, but it isn’t the same.

#5 Michael Carnell on 09.30.10 at 10:32 am

I will come out to the corner and you can make me lunch if it would make you feel better. Or a pie….

#6 Deb Ng on 09.30.10 at 10:44 am

Don’t sell yourself short, chica! You hold your own pretty well and I’m sure this isn’t the last we’ve seen of you! (and frankly, I’m expecting some very good things from you!)

Meeting you was one of the highlights of my time at Type A Mom. It looks like the beginning of a long and wonderful friendship.

#7 Danielle Smith on 09.30.10 at 10:45 am

You were brilliant. The whole weekend. It was wonderful to see you. It is fantastic to see such amazing things happening FOR you. And I am grateful for you.

#8 Matthew on 09.30.10 at 10:48 am

Who is this Greg person 🙂 and we aren’t leaving for the foreseeable future.

#9 Nichole on 09.30.10 at 11:04 am

I feel you. I’ve been trying to figure out how to unisolate myself, and the conference last weekend was part of my efforts to that end.

#10 Matthew on 09.30.10 at 11:18 am

If you can make it out, @lightmedium is trying to keep coworking going, that may help a bit. Also, not the same as real social interaction, you should try to hang out in one of the chat rooms some of us do(barcampchs, csclug). No char limits and at it seems to help keep us connected.

#11 Heather @ Not a DIY Life on 09.30.10 at 11:51 am

One of my fave things about the conference was being with friends, old and new. It’s nice to be social because I don’t get much of that either. Not that I’ve written a book or anything. Just life.

And you looked fabulous, if that helps. 😉

#12 Heather Solos on 09.30.10 at 11:51 am

Thank you. It truly was a pleasure meeting you, too. There’s so much I want to say and my time feels so constrained and disjointed at the moment, things don’t always come out as I wish they would. I’m actually proud of what I’ve accomplished in the last couple of years. I am excited to see what’s next.
I can’t wait for BWE.
I should say the same to you. I hope one day to be as comfortable on camera as you. We’ll definitely see more of each other in January.
I’ll look into the coworking. I do miss it, but Thursdays have turned into the busiest day of the week for us. I’ll be in and out of town until November. Can you shoot me an email with info on the chat rooms. I normally use Skype, I’ve only used Speeque a couple of times (that’s what we used for Barcamp, right?)
Isolation is such a weird thing. At least in my experience, I don’t seem to notice until I’m nearly smothered. In this case, it was such a stark contrast from seeing people, to not leaving the house for days. I’m glad you made the effort.

#13 Kenneth Andrews on 10.03.10 at 10:18 am

The beauty of the single and somewhat social somewhat anti-social is that I can pretty easily make a little time for friends here and there so feel free to hit me up if even for a chilled out latte hang out or whatever. No need to go insane alone when you can go insane with friends.

#14 Chele on 10.03.10 at 11:31 am

It was nice to see you again in Asheville Heather! You did awesome by the way! I know what you mean by having to come back to isolation… I miss everyone already! Too bad we can’t do this all the time! 🙂

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