A Moment’s Pause

It is funny how no matter how hard I fight it, life seems to get so hectic. My father came in on Thursday, the AC went out on Friday, my stepdaughter left on Saturday, and my father left on Monday.

Mark will be one on Sunday. Aidan will three in two weeks.

I have been out of the work force for over three years now. I find that strange, but I cannot imagine it any other way. I was planning on having the baby and returning to work immediately. October first was my due date. July first I went into the hospital because I was contracting and things changed. I thought I was just going to get a shot of Terbutaline and everything would be fine. The nurse checked me, while chatting away, and her face fell. That moment was life altering for me.

The next thing I knew I was hooked up to IVs and magnesium sulfate was poured into my system. A little at first, then a little more and a little more. The contractions eased and there was a sense of relief. Well for everyone else. Tim went to work that morning and the waiting began. I saw St. Paul’s firework display as colored shadows on my window. The mag sulfate made concentrating difficult and time slowed to a crawl.

A woman I know went into the hospital the very same night. We had the same due date. We also had very different outcomes. In September, I had a healthy baby boy. She had a baby girl that night; a year of hospitalizations, surgeries, procedures, and heartbreak. She has only memories. I have a healthy, headstrong little man. There are times when I forget how lucky we are. Thinking of Calla reminds me.