“To sleep perchance to dream-“
The baby has been in a rough transition period, thus sleep has become a commodity more precious than gold or oil. I’ve stumbled through the last few weeks in the weird, wired, anxiousness of sleep deprivation. If I close my eyes for more than a moment, images flash before them. My brain is has been so desperate for sleep, that it begins to dream even before I’m fully asleep.
I’ve always been fascinated by my dreams. Sometimes I’ll look them up to see if there is any “meaning” to the symbols. Some are obvious, such as tidal waves or random lost children. Usually, the most vivid dreams occur when I’m in a state of high anxiety and then I’m always looking, searching, or running from something.
Once, when sleep wasn’t so precious, I discovered a technique for lucid dreaming. I never was able to control everything, as some books suggest, but I was able to have an awareness I had never experienced, before. I wish I could remember where I found this technique, so I could quote the author properly. The author suggested reading things such as signs and billboards twice, because in dreams, text may be present, but it isn’t consistent. For me, this is true. I haven’t practiced the technique in years, but even now, if I read something, it can trigger a short period of lucidity. Just being aware that I’m dreaming often reduces the anxiety I’m feeling at the time.
Last night, I was finally granted a reprieve and was able to get several consecutive hours of sleep. It is such a glorious feeling.
3 comments ↓
I’ve always been fascinated by the idea of lucid dreaming but have never been able to pull it off.
I know what you mean about sleep. The whole first year we had the twins was just one big blur. I hear other parents of twins say the same thing before ours were born. I never knew exactly what they meant, but I do now.
Twins run in my family and I was nervous until I had the ultrasound. I cannot imagine trying to get through that first year. I’m glad to see all of you survived.
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